In the Eyes of an Anorexic

Today’s poem was penned by an ex-anorexic (if I’m not wrong). It makes the reader really relate to people suffering from this mental disease.

Wearing My Fat Suit

This fat suit that somebody
gave me to wear
is suffocating me.

It starts at the neck, and
trickles down my chest.
It even seeps through to my insides-
grabbing the bones of my rib cage.

My diaphragm screaming for air.

A little pinch here,
a big pinch there-
on my thighs,
on my knees,
on my ankles.

And it cripples me,
I can’t walk anymore.

And I can’t sit because of the rolling.

It’s like someone took five pillows
sowed them together,
and glued them on
in the most awkward of places.

I can’t lie down either
for fear that my breathing will stop-

for fear that
the fat will
literally rise up
from my stomach
into my throat
and close it.

And I will drown-
drown in my own fat,
and no one will know why I died.

“This is no way to live”,
I tell myself.

But the brain knows
no other way
to interpret the mirror.

©2007 KR

1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. silverneurotic
    Jun 19, 2007 @ 08:37:40

    That’s really sad. I’ve done a lot of reading on the subject of eating disorders, mainly technically/psychology article type stuff that would probably be dead on boring to anyone except a psych student…but all that reading never prepares you for something so in your face.

    nylusmilk: it is, isn’t it? i’ve read quite some about anorexia and bulimia too though on the more casual side, like stories and newspaper articles. to me the saddest part is that these people can’t see what other people see in themselves.

    Reply

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